When Snakes and Sissy’s Collide

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Well it’s snake season again and living in Africa this means dying season(maybe I’m a bit dramatic). Because not only do I live in an area famous for it’s HUGE black mambas, you also get malaria as regularly as some folks get a cold. The malaria isn’t that bad, the local clinic is all stock up on meds to sort that out, but if you get bitten…well you’re done. Go sit under a tree, make your peace with God, Buddha, Allah, Bob or whoever you think will be on the other side because that’s it for you.  So this is snake season or as I like to call it The Is-it-a-snake-stick-or-shadow game show. You get to jump and yelp like a sissy baby every time something moves. O boy, and don’t get me started on the spiders. Red Roman Spiders, those little fu@#$rs run like they got trained by Usain Bolt.

So this made me think of my very, very close call last year. It was one night that I was sitting in front of this very computer, open door to my left, hubby sitting in front of the TV to my right, and my cabbage head dog Jess at my feet.  I heard Jess make a funny noise but I didn’t pay much attention, I was absorbed in writing. The next few things happened so fast that to this day, it still feels like one simultaneous event. I heard Jess make a noise she’s never made before, out of the corner of my eye I saw her charge at something by the door,  which is less than 2 meters away and when I looked up, a Mozambique spitting cobra lifts it head like a jack-in-a-box. I screamed snake, then I screamed at Jess to get away for the darn thing. I grabbed her and ran for the other door while hubby got the sambok to kill it. I furiously started checking Jess for any bite marks. She was fine but still shaking and ready to fight the snake. If you knew this dog, you would be just as surprised as we were that she wanted to fight this thing. See Jess isn’t very smart (hence she gets called cabbage head allot) and if she was a human child, she’d be our “special” little girl. She walks into doors, would charge down to the gate to bark at the “intruder” unless he opens the gate at which point she tucks tail and runs to hide behind me. She is a doggy doorbell and will bark at anyone who enters the house even if it’s my husband and he’s been in and out 50 times all day. O and she does this while hiding behind me again. So you can imagine our surprise when she was willing to kill the snake to protect me. She did save my life that night because I wouldn’t have seen the snake until it was right under the table or even only after it bit me. It was more than 2 meters long and would you know it, nocturnal . Not only do you have to worry about snakes in the day but now you get to worry about them 24/7. Keeps the blood pumping!

Then there was the time a small sand snake got into the house. Harmless but faster than a lightning strike. I have two men working on the yard, one in the house and one in the garden and I had to kill the snake because these two big brave men were standing by the door ready to run if the snake came at them. Did you ever play the game where the ground is lava and you can’t touch it? Well just imagine a grown woman well over 75kgs jumping around on furniture with a sambok in hand to kill a snake that we would find out afterwards, could harm a frog but not me. I felt so stupid.

Well let’s hope this summer I don’t encounter any big ones. I did step on a small sand snake last week so I’m thinking it might not go so well this year.

Jess1480646_10203634478206481_1522371737_nHubby with a python. He relocates them for the community. You’ll get 2 years in jail if you kill one of them.10463923_10204312253430438_4623140265824682214_n.jpg

Come back in a few days time for the story about our time raising these guys:016.JPG

Die Wit Hasie


10 responses to “When Snakes and Sissy’s Collide

    • Ongelukkig moet ons mambas en cobras doodmaak, heeltemal te gevaarlik om te relocate maar die ander soos luislange en die kleiner huis slange word bos toe gevat. Ek hou nie van onnodig doodmaak nie. My hart is te sag

      Liked by 1 person

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